When a loved one finds themselves in an accident or dealing with a worrisome health diagnosis, it’s an extremely difficult situation to take. In some cases, it serves as one of the most difficult situations you’ll find themselves in. The first thing you need to understand that any feelings of panic, fear, or uncertainty are perfectly natural. A health crisis represents not only a potential loss of a loved one, but also a major derailing of everyone’s lives involved, no matter what the resolution is.
There’s not a set formula in place to grapple with these situations, but there are a few points of consideration when supporting a loved one going through this. If done properly, it may be able to make difficult times a little easier to work through for all involved. So, if you find yourself with a loved one in a VA hospital in Los Angeles dealing with this type of issue, here’s a way to react.
Starting Off
As a start, some people may be reluctant to approach the issue at all, out of fear of saying something incorrect, offensive, or upsetting. However, many experts note that silence in the face of a health issue can be just as damaging. The best thing to do here if you find yourself grappling with this is flatly admitting that you’re not sure what to say but want to respond and show your support.
However, you want to be careful when it comes to trying to centralize the discussion about yourself and your issues. In fairness, it’s human nature, but not the type of thing that a person in a health crisis wants to hear. The best course of action is to open up a way for the other person to talk about how they feel. For example, a statement like “I’m having a hard time imagining what you’re feeling. Would you want to talk about it?” is a lot better than trying to share your story of a similar situation. If it helps, consider making donations for veterans in crisis in Los Angeles, or whatever affected group your loved on is a part of, to take that pressure off of yourself. It’s better than trying to put yourself in the equation while talking to them.
One common instinct that a lot of people have when it comes to helping a person with health issues is asking something along the lines of “let me know if you need anything.” While this means well, it may put the person with an illness in the position of having to think of a way that you can help them. One way to get around this is taking the burden of the “ask” off them and onto your shoulders.
How does this work out in practice? Simply hop in and take care of one of their everyday tasks for them, like cooking a meal or a household chore. Offering for a walk in nice weather for an opportunity to talk can neatly fit into this as well. If the person in question has a family, helping take the family for some events so the person can relax is a major help as well. If you’re not sure how to help, considering asking the person’s spouse or a close family member on help that they may need. This is especially useful if the person wants to stay independent but could use the help.
Helping with practical tasks is a great benefit, but when it comes to unsolicited medical advice, this kind of support isn’t quite as useful. Remember, every person has a different experience, even with the same conditions. If they have a serious illness, their medical team is likely already working on it, and a semi-related story won’t likely help. It’s best to let the professionals at a veteran’s medical center in California do their job.
Along with this, the notion of “staying positive” may not be as helpful as you think. The truth is that no one can predict anything, so it’s best that you not try to go there. Be careful when commenting on things like appearance as well, even if they are positive.
Providing Support
There are still ways to offer encouragement that aren’t as upsetting, though. For example, something general like “you’re amazing” is a nice way to be supportive without setting something off. If you want to ask about feelings or treatment, something like “what’s the latest?” is a bit of a better way to do it.
However, we should mention that everyone handles serious conditions differently. Some people see the opportunity to talk about it as a bit of a relief. Others aren’t interested in opening up, and either is okay. One thing you should do is be ready to give the person in question an out for if they want you to stop talking or to leave. In addition, when you’re with someone, silence is okay, you don’t need to fill the space with chatter about your own life.
We should also take the time to make sure that when you talk about appearing to help someone out, you follow through. There’s generally going to be a quick burst of activity and support shortly after a person gets in an accident or develops a health problem. However, after those few days or weeks, the support may taper off, while the person is still grappling with it. This makes it very important that you commit to the long run. Sometimes, even just a text or a small gift sent every now and again can mean a lot.
These steps are essential due to the way that they help maintain a sense of normalcy for the person who needs help. It’s easy to forget that they still want to have lives outside of their condition, so don’t be afraid to change around your conversation topics every now and again.
